Feel the Feels….
I have heard numerous pep talks since the onset of the pandemic, even outright insistence on focusing only on the positive. “Look for the Light in the situation”, “make lemonade out of lemons”, “ change your mind change your life”…nice thoughts, concepts and methods of invoking positivity, um…but, what about the real stuff deep inside, the feelings…feeling the feels!
What do I do with the raw emotion of sadness as I long to hug my child but I cant because she lives way over there, or the angst at being unable to travel to my homeland to hold my Dad’s hand during his health crisis? All the “feels”, the heartfelt emotions that get jammed up inside. What do I do when it feels like a charade while I smile into the camera during a Skype conversation but my heart longs to crawl through the screen, squeeze hug my kid and let all my Mom tears fall like a cascade of untempered tears!
All the feels tear around inside me like a wild animal sedated by the confines of protocol and etiquette. I need to feel all the feels before I put on another Covid 10lbs and binge watch another Netflix series all to numb the truth that I feel within. I have spent parts of my life allowing the “feels” such as sadness, angst, anxiety, anger, happiness, joy and bliss to linger beneath a brave smile, a motivating mindset and a “stiff upper lip” approach to life. I cant do this anymore.
I prayerfully connected with my beloved Guide, Nathan, who encouraged me to “feel my emotions, acknowledge them, give them breath and a moment of life”. I embraced this teaching and allowed myself to explore my true emotions just beneath the surface and the ones nestled in the depths of my heart.
My Guide shared with me “it is important to embrace the feeling but to deny the over indulgence in that feeling”. I felt a release, a sense of peace knowing that I could explore the tears, the joy, the angst and sadness, open the floodgates and let the waters settle within. Nathan, my Guide encouraged me to “ observe my emotions like I would observe a storm pass in the distance, observing the rumble but not being in the eye of the storm”. It felt magnificent to just “feel” and then to move on, to release the pressure valve of positivity, feel the feels and slip into a peaceful sense of gratitude for the gifts at hand.
The feeling of missing a visit with my daughter and the angst and sadness around that has every right to be given a breath of life, an acknowledgment and to be felt…deeply, beautifully, truthfully. If I deny this true feeling I am denying my core, my heart, my authentic truth. Nathan shared “hug the emotion, caress its woes and ways like a mother caressing a fevered brow. Then dear one, the space has been made for the joy of knowing that your most deepest self has a place on this earth, in its totality, unedited. Only then can you truly feel the joy of life coursing through your veins with blissful true authentic self expression”. I felt the “feels”, I observed their truth, this released the pressure behind the floodgates of my heart and made room for joy, gratitude, appreciation and so much more.
Feeling the feels created the space to thoroughly appreciate the gift of a Zoom meeting with friends, Skyping with my daughter, Amazon care packages filled with chocolate bars and munchies sent to my daughter and through the technology of FaceTime, empowering my Dad as he steps into the world of Chemo and Radiation
Where in life, dear one, are you feeling the feels but putting on that brave smile you know so well? What lies beneath the surface emotionally…not to become the dominate expression but to be acknowledged to make room for a true sense of Joy?
Remember, as Nathan says, “feelings are not fodder for adulation of inner revenge or to self flagellate your soul! They are like whispers of gentle breezes on a beautiful day, a raging storm dancing on the ocean, a Lit sky filled with unsettling rumbles. These emotions are to be observed, felt, released, given a glimpse of acknowledgment only to make way for a bright sunrise filled with Light after the storm”
Blessings and Light
